My HRT Dilemma Vs My Self Worth
Does it make me less of a woman if I succumb to HRT?
In the yoga and wellness world it is all about being healthy and addressing any issues in a health conscious and naturalistic way. I have been on HRT now for 3 years, due to an earlier menopause, (about 44-45) as I had gone through a lot of fertility issues.
Again, questioning my self-worth – does it make me less of a woman because I couldn’t reproduce?
2 miscarriages, 7 IVF cycles, the last one resulting in an ectopic pregnancy, hospitalised twice and nearly dying. People often comment and say silly things like “oh, you can always borrow mine”, or “oh I bet you can go on lots of holidays then.” Or more often than not “well maybe it just wasn’t meant to be”…………………Please, if you can’t say anything nice or positive, don’t say anything at all!.
And then I get people commenting on my figure. People wishing they could look like me or have my body. I do work very hard to achieve my physique, with my yoga practice and eating healthy, and many people half my age (I will be 50 this July) have said they would give their right arm for my figure, but again feel less self-worth, less of a woman as my inside internal reproductive organs don’t work.
So back to HRT. I tried a few months ago to come off of it. I did a detox, and started to wean myself off, starting taking 6 tablets a week in month one, 5 tablets a week month 2 etc and taking various supplements. I started off feeling great, but by the time I got to taking 3 tablets a month, my fatigue was returning, I was moody, grumpy and depressed and my migraines had returned. Not a good state of affairs to be in as I teach around 2/3 classes or clients a day 5/6 days a week. So after much beating myself up about it, I decided to go back on it full time. Why should I let what other people think of my decision about my body make me feel guilty about making myself feel better.
My conclusion is that I make a huge contribution to the world doing what I do and I need to feel in tip-top condition to do so and to give of my energy. It gives me an enormous sense of self-worth , joy and privilege to do what I do. And if you need to turn to allopathic medicine instead of alternative therapies, then do what works for you!